I started this blog as a way to chronicle my journey through Medic school.  It was supposed to be something I could use to look back and see  how far I had come in my journey, and maybe jog the memory as far as a few funny or memorable moments.  So far, I have followed the plan.  I have poured my feelings, worries, and emotions onto the pages for others to share with me, and to keep myself from imploding in a ball of emotion.  I think I am going to change things up a little bit on this one, as the activity we had in the sky tonight jostled a different type of memory for me.

Back in November or December of last year, I was a bumbling mess.  My inner demons had taken control of me and mentally I was far from okay. A trip to Kentucky came up for work, and I jumped all over the chance.  Not only would it be a way for me to get some solid hours on my check, but it would give me the chance to get away for a while.  Far away from all the distractions and bad energy that had been surrounding me.  And maybe, just maybe, I could find a way to get my head on right, or at least get it started in the right direction.

We stopped about half way to our destination to top the rig off with fuel, and do the usual long distance trip pit stop stuff.  I was pretty quiet up to that point, as I had a million things running through my head and I really didn’t want to stop the thought process.  As my partner was filling up the truck, I was enjoying a smoke off to the side.  It hit me at that point that I was up in the mountains, in the middle of nowhere, in complete silence.  There were no street lights other than the ones that illuminated the parking lot of the gas station.  The hustle and bustle of city traffic was nowhere to be found.  Complete, and utter silence.  That’s when I looked up and noticed the sky…it was like something you would see in a movie.  Stars as far as the eye could see.  It was almost as if a million more had been created just for me.  So close, I felt like I could reach up and grab one and put it in my pocket.  I just stood there in amazement and could not stop looking around.  It was honestly, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life.

it almost looked like this….

night_sky-9030_0

That’s when it hit me.  This was exactly what I needed.  Time away from home, a little peace and quiet, and the fresh mountain air was the right combination of things to get my mind right.  As cliché as this is going to sound, I had this overwhelming feeling of peace and calm surge through my body.  It was something I had not felt in a very, very long time.  I took the driving duties for the first leg of the almost 8 hour ride home.  I felt like a new man.  Gone was the worry, and the fear and depression.  I had convinced myself that even if it was for that one day, it was a welcomed feeling.

This wasn’t just any ordinary night though. We happened to be making the trip during the peak of the Leonids Meteor Shower.  As I was driving along, I couldn’t help but notice the immense number of falling stars I witnessed sailing through the star filled sky.  So, partially because I was feeling like a new person, and mostly because the caffeine levels in my body were seriously low, I started to wish on them.

I’m not a believer in the whole wishing on a star thing, but I’ll be damned if the one wish I kept making didn’t come true.   My life turned around after that trip.  Things improved greatly over the next nine months.  And it only took until the beginning of January for it to happen. Sure, there have been some ups and downs.  But it is nothing like what I dealt with before.

That brings me to the whole point of this post.  This weekend was the Perseids Meteor Shower.  I find myself a little stressed here the last few weeks.  I am losing my “bubble”, so to speak.  As I was outside having myself a breathing treatment earlier, I happened to look up and that’s when I saw it.  Two stars shooting across the sky.  This time, there was about 75% fewer stars in the sky, and there was a Q siren blaring off in the distance, but it didn’t stop me.  Hopefully, once again it will come true and all the stars will line up for me again.

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