My first week of A&P is now over.  I suffered through a lot of stress and worry over the last 6 months leading up to this.  I put a lot of stress on myself to kill this course and get myself ready for the chaos that is going to start in the fall.  I am worried about failing, REALLY worried about it.  Failure is a hard pill for me to swallow.  During my first class, the head of the program at my school came in and gave his little speech about what he is looking for and the journey that lies ahead.  One thing he said made my jaw drop.  Over 80% of the students accepted for the last Medic class either dropped out, or were bounced before they even were able to sit for the registry.  I had mixed emotions about that statement.  On one hand, I obviously became even more worried.  It has been almost 18 years since I last took part in college level education.  Yeah, I flew through the EMT-B course with relatively few problems, but that was given at a high school, during the evening, and it was VERY laid back.  This is the big time.  An accredited institution of higher learning.It’s not going to be easy.  They expect excellence.  On the other hand though, it dawned on me that maybe I shouldn’t be that afraid of failing.  I had a conversation with my PIC the other night, and she told me the same thing.  That it was okay to fail.  As much as it might hurt, sometimes you have to get knocked down before you can rise to the top. 

And then today came…CH 3 & 4.  Otherwise known as Biochemistry and Cells respectively.  I think my mouth may have been closed for maybe 10 minutes of the 3 hours I sat in class today.  The rest of the time, I was picking my jaw up off the ground as I was trying to wrap my head around what I was being taught.  I vaguely remember at one point telling my instructor I thought my head was going to go “POOF” at any moment.  I realized I am definitely going to have to hunker down and hit this thing with every ounce of determination I can muster.  I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.  Biology and Science were never my strong points in school. After two classes, my thoughts have definitely become realities for me.