Another One Down

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Another year has come and gone.  Yes, 37 years ago today, I decided I was going to bless the world with my presence.  This last year has been one of the most important ones in my life though.  At this time last year, I was getting ready to celebrate 15 years at the factory. A little under half way to being able to retire and travel the country….or read about it in my back yard.  But that all would change about a month later to the day.  I lost that job, and with it, my pension, retirement, and my life.

I thought my world was over.  Boy was I wrong.  In the eleven months since I was let go, I have began to embark on this saga that I hope you all enjoy reading about.  I have met some unbelievably incredible people.  And I have learned one thing.  Sometimes in life, you have to hit rock bottom before you can work your way back up.  At some point, I’m sure I will share the story behind this lesson, but for now, I am looking forward to the most insane, stressful, most beautiful year of my life.  At this time next year, I will be preparing to get myself ready for the National Registry.  And with that, the beginning of the next chapter in my life.  Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me and supported me through this.  Especially my PIC.  Without her, I don’t know if all this would be possible right now.  Be safe everyone.

The First Stumble

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I should be doing homework right now.  I should have my nose buried in this A&P book, cranking out Nervous System questions.  But here I sit, staring out my window, not feeling it.  I don’t know if it’s lack of motivation, lack of desire (I know I have somewhat hit that point right now…I’m starting to question things at this point), or the fact that I’m half way through my semester and have hit the wall so to speak.  All I know, is any edge and decompression my weekend at MIS gave me, is long gone.  I have had a total of about 6 hours of sleep the last two nights, my mind is racing like crazy, and all I want to do is find a nice quiet place to hide and just worry about nothing.  I hope this is something that isn’t permanent. Maybe I can find a way to overcome it.  All I know is that it’s causing me serious problems right now and I need to do something about it one way or another. 

 

Decompression

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Sometimes, you need to step away from reality for a little bit, and just get back to what matters for a while.  For me, it was spending the weekend in the Irish Hills of Michigan with an amazing person watching cars go around MIS at over 200MPH.  It was every bit the stress reliever I was hoping it would be.  I am now ready to finish up this A&P course, rock my Medic interview next month, and face the next 13 months of my life head on.  ImageImage

Two Down

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Head rattling, blank stares, clouds of mist…those three things pretty much sum up the first two weeks of A&P for me.  True, it’s being condensed into an 8 week period so there is going to be more thrown at me every class, but wow.  There were two chapters that had me so flabbergasted that I remember telling my teacher my “head felt like it was going to explode”.  Cellular membranes, mitochondria, cellular respiration….what do all these have to do with starting an IV or pushing adenosine or morphine? 

I’m sure at some point, I will realize why it needs to be taught.  I’ll have my proverbial “AHA moment.”  As for right now though, I plan on trying to lose myself in memorizing the bones and muscles and various other systems of the body.  At least until Friday, because then it’s time for a weekend away to decompress and recharge the batteries.  Stay safe everyone.

Whoa….

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My first week of A&P is now over.  I suffered through a lot of stress and worry over the last 6 months leading up to this.  I put a lot of stress on myself to kill this course and get myself ready for the chaos that is going to start in the fall.  I am worried about failing, REALLY worried about it.  Failure is a hard pill for me to swallow.  During my first class, the head of the program at my school came in and gave his little speech about what he is looking for and the journey that lies ahead.  One thing he said made my jaw drop.  Over 80% of the students accepted for the last Medic class either dropped out, or were bounced before they even were able to sit for the registry.  I had mixed emotions about that statement.  On one hand, I obviously became even more worried.  It has been almost 18 years since I last took part in college level education.  Yeah, I flew through the EMT-B course with relatively few problems, but that was given at a high school, during the evening, and it was VERY laid back.  This is the big time.  An accredited institution of higher learning.It’s not going to be easy.  They expect excellence.  On the other hand though, it dawned on me that maybe I shouldn’t be that afraid of failing.  I had a conversation with my PIC the other night, and she told me the same thing.  That it was okay to fail.  As much as it might hurt, sometimes you have to get knocked down before you can rise to the top. 

And then today came…CH 3 & 4.  Otherwise known as Biochemistry and Cells respectively.  I think my mouth may have been closed for maybe 10 minutes of the 3 hours I sat in class today.  The rest of the time, I was picking my jaw up off the ground as I was trying to wrap my head around what I was being taught.  I vaguely remember at one point telling my instructor I thought my head was going to go “POOF” at any moment.  I realized I am definitely going to have to hunker down and hit this thing with every ounce of determination I can muster.  I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.  Biology and Science were never my strong points in school. After two classes, my thoughts have definitely become realities for me. 

Today is the day

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Well, its finally here. In just over an hour, I will officially begin my 13 month journey towards achieving my Paramedic certification. I have to say I’m nervous as hell right now. This is something I’ve been waiting the last 6 months for, and now it’s here. Not to mention the fact that is been almost 20 years since I’ve been in school (ugh I just aged myself). Luckily, I have someone in my life that has given me more support and encouragement to get ready for this than I thought possible. I know I can do this. I WILL do this. Today, this is the first step.