So, I picked this up yesterday.  I’m in awe of it, yet at the same time, the realization that it is finally here has sunk in.  The first thing I noticed was the name at the bottom of the cover, Dr Bryan E. Bledsoe, the man himself.  That right there gave me a feeling that I am truly going to be learning from the best.  I’ve heard so many fabulous things about this man.  His status is legendary, as you are all aware.  But, throughout the day, I started looking through the book.  And worry set in. I hope and pray that I don’t let this fear get the best of me.  I have people in my life that are encouraging me, and are pushing me to make this happen.  I don’t want to let them down.  I don’t want to let myself down.  Failure is a very hard pill for me to swallow.  It’s the reason why I threw away a brand new set of golf clubs literally 2 weeks after I bought them.  Its the reason why all my life struggles have weighed so heavily on me.  And believe me, I am going to work my hind end off to be the best damn Medic I can possibly be.  Because that’s the only way it can be.  But in the back of my mind, I can’t help but think…..What If?  What if I fail at this? What if I let down the one person who has had my back and encouraged me through this whole thing? I know she will be there for me, and is going to be a second Proctor of sorts for me. Maybe I’m just looking too much into it and worrying about nothing. But it’s real, and it’s there.  Image