A little favor

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So I have a question for those of you that read this.  I am always looking for new blogs to follow and websites to view that will help me develop my knowledge and skills.  Are there any you could suggest that might help me out?  I follow 12 Lead, but more often than not, I have problems because it’s way above my pay grade right now. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


T Minus 10…..

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So, I picked this up yesterday.  I’m in awe of it, yet at the same time, the realization that it is finally here has sunk in.  The first thing I noticed was the name at the bottom of the cover, Dr Bryan E. Bledsoe, the man himself.  That right there gave me a feeling that I am truly going to be learning from the best.  I’ve heard so many fabulous things about this man.  His status is legendary, as you are all aware.  But, throughout the day, I started looking through the book.  And worry set in. I hope and pray that I don’t let this fear get the best of me.  I have people in my life that are encouraging me, and are pushing me to make this happen.  I don’t want to let them down.  I don’t want to let myself down.  Failure is a very hard pill for me to swallow.  It’s the reason why I threw away a brand new set of golf clubs literally 2 weeks after I bought them.  Its the reason why all my life struggles have weighed so heavily on me.  And believe me, I am going to work my hind end off to be the best damn Medic I can possibly be.  Because that’s the only way it can be.  But in the back of my mind, I can’t help but think…..What If?  What if I fail at this? What if I let down the one person who has had my back and encouraged me through this whole thing? I know she will be there for me, and is going to be a second Proctor of sorts for me. Maybe I’m just looking too much into it and worrying about nothing. But it’s real, and it’s there.  Image

Fun In The Sun

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This weekend was another one that I would have to put amongst my Top 10 all time.  It was a little reward for the hard work that me and my PIC have put in to our company.  ARCA Racing weekend at the local speedway.  It started off on Saturday with practice and qualifying sessions.  There is nothing like being able to roam around the garage area and watch the guys work to get their cars ready.  The day ended with the Truck series race.  50 laps of fun, and we were blessed to be watching an Earnhardt race.  Dale Sr’s grandson Bobby Dale was running his Ford around the track.

Today, was the main event.  The Menards 200, televised to a national audience on the SPEED channel.  I got to meet one of the NASCAR Legends in one Kenny Schrader.  The race was everything I had hoped it would be.  The smell of racing fuel and smoking tires is almost intoxicating.  And believe it or not, Schrader won the race.  Now, my partner has said that he won it for her, but I happen to think it was because I wished him luck and the good JuJu rubbed off when I had my picture taken with him.  Either way, through the heat and sunburn, my partner and myself had a great weekend and I really didn’t want it to end.Image

In Memoriam

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Even though I am no longer an active member of the brotherhood, the next two days are ones that any of us hate to go through.  A fellow brother has answered his final call.  This time it hits a little closer to home.  Not only did he serve his community for over 40 years, 25 of which were as Chief, but he was a family friend.  You see, along with my Pappy, he was a founding member of the local fire dept.  I know he wouldn’t have remembered me if I saw him on the street.  Both because it’s been so long, and due to the horrible disease that stripped him of his identity and mind.  But you were a friend and brother nonetheless. My Grandpa spoke so highly of you.  He told me story after story of the fires you guys fought, and the fun you had.  Not only did you serve your community well, but you also defended your country as a member on the US Navy.  That you for all you have done Chief Louie.  God Speed my BrotherImage

The Other Side

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Today, I got to relive a a terrifying experience from my past.  The National Registry Practical.  No, I didn’t voluntarily decide to retake it.  However, if I did, I’m sure I would be laughed out of the building for doing so poorly. (Street time changes your skill sets folks). Instead, I was asked by my PIC to serve as a patient for one of the stations.  I thought this could be my chance to give these prospective EMT’s a taste of what it’s like in the real world.  Being screamed at, cussed at, trying to maintain C-Spine while twisting your body through a mangled car.  But alas, I was the victim of a Right Tibial Fracture.  Easy enough.  Anyone can splint a broken long bone.  It’s one of the most basic of basic skills right?

Not so fast my friend.  One after another, they all showed that even the most basic of skills can turn out to be a challenge.  Some of them were WAY off on what to do.  Others, well, they knew but forgot a couple key points.  Now, first thought might be that either the instructor failed the students, or the students just failed themselves.  But I started thinking about it.  I was in that same situation on a warm Saturday morning almost 4 years ago.  I remembered how stressed I was. How I couldn’t sleep the night before, and the way my heart began to race as I walked into each room to do my practical.  And I started to feel bad for them.  All I can say is good luck guys.  This here is the hard part.  Crank this thing out, and you will be a part of one of the most rewarding professions a person can choose

Fear Isn’t Optional… Or Is It??


As my official start date for medic school grows closer and closer (21 more days…but who’s counting, right?), I find myself battling more emotions than I ever thought possible. The two biggest right now would have to be sheer excitement and fear.

Right now I find myself in a place I’m not very used to.  I am HAPPY.  Sure, there are days when the alarm clock goes off and I don’t want to get out of bed and deal with the world.  I mean, who doesn’t have days like that?  However, I finally have found my niche.  A job that I can’t imagine ever stopping, and that affords me the potential of helping people and making a difference.  Which, by the way, is a HUGE reason why I love this job.  Being able to make someone smile, or laugh in a time of need for them, or when they just feel worn out from spending four hours on a dialysis machine…it almost makes me feel like a rock star.  Achieving my NREMT-P will allow me to touch these people’s lives in a different fashion.  Instead of being the guy that sits there and tells them they are in good hands, and that everything will be okay, I’ll be the guy that is actually attempting to ease their pain.  Make those crushing chest pains go away.  Telling a child that I’m going to do everything I can to help his daddy will be more than just words then…it will be actions.  I pride myself in the relationships I have with my patients.  Even if it’s only for the fifteen minutes that I spend with them in the box of that truck.  Being able to help them is what drives me. And this will increase their trust in me.

Then there is the F word.  No, not the one you used to sneak around using when you were younger.  Fear…the one thing that stops most from achieving their goals, and more often than not causes epic failures.  Fear is what causes second guesses.  “Am I giving this the right way?  Did I figure the dosage correctly?” With me right now, those are the things I am dealing with.  I always said the one reason I didn’t want to go into EMS was because I didn’t want to play God.  Being able to help save someone’s life, but being able to just as quickly end it with one mistake wasn’t for me.  And then I became an EMT and now I’m not as scared of it, but the thought still looms.  My partner in crime has really helped push me to get to this point.  She reminds me how much I love what I do, and how much potential and passion for this profession I have.  And yet, she also supports my fear by saying it is a good thing to have a little because it means you have respect for what you are about to do.  And she is right. That’s why I’m not too worried about suppressing the fear.  Because it will keep me level. I mean hey, a little fear has never hurt anyone….has it?

It’s Official

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Today, I received my mug shot…I mean student ID.  Thirteen more days and the journey officially begins.  Yeah I know it’s just eight short weeks of A&P for right now, but it’s still the start of things.  Earlier today, I was just sitting there looking at it.  I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride.  I fought hard to get to where I am right now.  And this ID is a reminder of that.  I have had a lot of bad things happen to me over the course of the last five years or so. A nasty divorce, failed relationships, losing a very good paying job, losing my house.  The list goes on and on.  But this picture….it symbolizes change. It embodies the new me. The happy me. It’s true what they say, good things do come to those that wait.  Throughout the next year or so, I am going to randomly thank those who have helped me get to this point.  The people who are responsible for either the positives or the negatives that have set the foundation for this.  Thirteen more days….


P.S. I hope you all have a safe and happy EMS week.  May the Gods be kind to you.  And please, if you can, say a prayer for those affected by the storms outside OKC today.  I know too well what kind of emotional stress that type of situation can cause.  Be safe everyone.

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